I hate not being able to tell if I am crazy or if I am justified in feeling a certain way, and knowing I’ll never know the answer.
It’s hell and I hate it.
If I am the one that has to make things happen unless I want it all to fade away. Why cant life just come to me as I lay here, to watch it all go by, rather than watching it all float away as I struggle to drag it all back down to me, just to satisfy my inability to accept the fact that I am stuck down here and can never be free so I must tie everything to me, making it all as miserable as me. Maybe I should let it all slip away and wait and hope for something..anything or anyone…to come back to me, even after I set it free. Should I fade away and let life pass me or force it all to stay down here with me? Lonely but not alone or alone but not lonely?
Perhaps I should just sleep
